The other Kuczynski

30/03/2011

Ok, so Kaczynski and Kuczynski aren’t exactly the same—kind of like Smith and Smyth—but you can’t deny that a headline reading 'Kuczynski could be the next President of Peru' wouldn’t get your attention. Because when you say it quickly, it sounds like the Unabomber got out of prison and somehow finagled his way into the Peruvian Presidential election…right?

Or maybe that’s just because I couldn’t figure out how to spell my last name till I was ten…

Regardless, up until recently I thought the only candidates who stood a chance of winning the Peruvian presidency were former President Alejandro Toledo, sometimes Chávez pal—Ollanta Humala, and Keiko Fujimori—the daughter of the imprisoned former President Alberto Fujimori.

Granted Kuczynski is sitting fourth, but he’s been quickly rising in the polls.

The most recent ones have Humala leading at 22%, but the Lima stock exchange crashed with that news, which has to mean he and Hugo are a little too chummy for most.

Toledo and Fujimori are both hovering around 20 and 21%, with Kucz (my nickname) or PPK (everyone else’s) coming in at 16%.

Two months ago Kucz was sitting at 5%, and as The Economist recently reminded—Alberto Fujimori polled at 5% a few weeks before the 1990 election.

So, if Americans can elect a man whose name is precariously close to Osama, why can’t Peruvians elect a man whose name is precariously close to that of an American Thoreau-reading serial killer?

Well, for one thing—maybe he and Ted might have a little too much in common for the Peruvian electorate?

No, I’m not implying Pedro Pablo is a closet serial killer; but he does hold an advanced degree from an American university—and he is… American.

Peruvians have already seen what a President with dual nationalities can do, so he’s been forced to do something about the latter: he’s announced he’s renouncing his American citizenship. And even though Toledo—for whom he formerly served as finance minister— hasn’t stopped pressing him (“he’s said he started the process, so show us the documents.”)—I don’t think it hurts his chances.

And even the former—his European/American education, which was followed by work for the World Bank, the IMF, mining corporations and investment banks...well, Toledo has a PhD from Stanford and he—by his own public admission—has lived outside of the country for more than forty years.

True, Toledo looks more like the average Peruvian than Kuczynski, and has that irresistible rags-o-riches background that helped get him elected last time—but Kucz has his flute—and his Mexican!

Ok, maybe it isn’t the Andean pan flute—maybe it is of the well-bred Julliard variety—but at least he plays traditional Andean tunes that make you forget he’s Jean-Luc Godard’s cousin.

And then there’s Miguel Ángel Cornejo—his Mexican leadership guru who mitigates Kucz’s pedantry with these pearls of wisdom:

“When you get up—smile, it doesn’t cost you anything.”

“We’re all champions.”

To some—cheesy clichés, to others—positive electioneering—we’ll see come April 10.

Kaczynski-Kuczynski…tomato-tomato